Came to the first day of my yoga teacher training in India, only I realised there will be a session of Yoga nidra in every training day. I had totally no idea what Yoga nidra was till I attended my first session, the teacher explained that yoga nidra is a type of yogic sleep, we need only to listen to the instructions given by the teacher and follow through the 45 minutes of sleeping therapy, and during the session different people will experience different feelings, some can get very emotional such as crying out or laughing loud, and some may fall asleep if they are too tired because it is meant to be a very relaxing session, and it is totally fine. The teacher also pointed that the best way to attend yoga nidra session is to just follow through the session without thinking why certain instructions are given by the teacher.
With just these little information I heard from teacher Upendra (Upendra Ji), I went for my first session, I was lost many times from his instructions, and I fell asleep a few times, nothing special that I experienced, and I did not believe I would experience anything special (since I have been meditating for a while, I always lose my focus in the middle). The second day was the same, but I did not fall asleep; not until the third session that I experienced things that I never expected I would.
Before the third session, Upendra Ji explained more about Yoga nidra, saying the yogic sleep will fulfil the desire of the practitioner, one can think of his or her desire when he instructs us to do so during the yoga nidra session, and the desire can be anything, anything positive. This made me even more doubtful about this practice that it could help me in any way. But I told myself I came to learn anything with open mind, I am not going to say no to anything without trying as long it will not harm me. I made up my mind that I will wish for ‘having a strong neck’ (lol, I even laughed out myself when I thought of this, but part of it, it is what I wish for at now, because I got neck injury and it holds me back from doing many asana in my practice). During the 3rd session, I was not feeling very well, due to the weather and maybe the hectic schedules, I tried to stay through the whole session (though I was kind of preparing myself to sleep, so my body could get some rest). In the middle of the session, Upendra Ji started the same instruction, asking us to visualise a flicking candle, a palm tree, a coconut tree with fruits, an apple tree with many fruits, beach, road, car, then it got to dark, then a full moon…then next, I heard nothing further, I saw my mom showed up from the moon (my mom passed away 11 years ago), she smiled to me and started to talk to me, it was so clear that she said she is doing fine and asked me to stop worrying about her, it is not an image but my mom was passing me message by message, it was like a conversation that I have been hoping to have for my last 11 years, and I finally had it. I could not believe it, but I was not sleeping, I was conscious, I knew I was in the class. I did not want the session to end, but at the same time I wish to clarify with Upendra Ji if this all was real, and was it normal, from that moment, my heart was full of unspeakable emotions. I could not wait to let them out, I just needed someone to tell me it was all alright. I went to Upendra Ji right after the session, the time he patted my shoulder and told me it is common for people to experience this emotion, my eyes were filled by tears, I went straight to my room, and I no longer holding my emotion back. I cried out with sound, and I could not remember when was my last time I cried the same way. Only then I realised, the session gave me an answer for a question or desire which I have been looking for years since my mom passed away. I was brought up by taoist family, we believe in the soul or spirit will stay somewhere or be in heaven or hell after someone passes away. I always wanted to know if my mom was doing good or where she was now after she passed away. And I got the answer during a yogic sleep session. I understand well that the whole thing could be the answer my subconcious wanted me to hear, but I also know that it was destined that I heard it now, that my mom or myself wanted myself to finally let go of my mom, and make peace for both of us.
I still could not believe till now that I had such experience during the yoga nidra. I think just by having this experience, it has made my trip to India so worth coming. Now I cannot wait to attend my next yoga nidra session every afternoon.
My mantra for now: I change my thought, I change my world